Karl Marx

From Cucumberwiki

Karl Marx, the famous creator of Marxism and five times winner of Top 10 Hottest Men. His lifelong husband, Friedrich Engels, always came second. Marx was a fan of waffles, and promulgated the status of the waffle as the official Marxist food. Those who put jam on their waffles were more equal than those who did not. Those who put a cucumber-jam mixture on their waffles, were completely superior.

Early life

Karl 'Rapmaster K' Marx was born in in Teheran, Iran, on May 5, 1818. He was exiled in 1819 due to his heretic birth involving an enormous beard. He came to Germany in 1820, where he met his future husband Friedrich Engels. They met at a bar where guests performed rap for each other. After Marx' performance, Friedrich was the first to congratulate him. Karl's talent for rap quickly disseminated - soon he adopted the nick-name 'Rapmaster C' - and he became a popular guest at the MTV awards ceremony. At the age of 26 he joined Radiohead.

Education and early thought

After Karl and Friedrich had married, they entered the Frankfurt School of Philosophical Rap, where Karl gained a doctorate after 6 months.